Leadership- Lessons Learned Thus Far- Part 1- How the Journey Began

Its been five months since I took on the role of Ladies Ministry Director at Compelled Church. I place I really didn't see myself going as I headed to the Proverb 31 Ministries conference three years ago, where this journey first began. My every intent in going to the conference that year was to improve my skills as a writer. But, God had a different plan.

Although I originally signed up for sessions in the writers block when I arrived I found the schedule before me to be mostly leadership courses. We were told errors had been made on some of the schedules so we were to feel free to jump into our sessions of interest.

After initially registering for the conference I found out my eldest daughter; who lives in Illionois, was attending the same conference so we both decided to check-in for the early-bird session, which also was on leaderdship. Are you seeing a pattern here? Honestly, at the time, I didn't see it, I just believed it all to be coinsidence.

This conference turned out to be phenominal! Every session I took fed my spirit, by the end of the first day I felt God changing my hearts desire, not taking away my love of writing, just placing something else before it, but I still would not have been able to tell you what this something else was exactly.

On the third day of the conference I visited the prayer room. With over 800 women in attendance and everyone saying to make sure to make a stop in this prayer room , I was surprised when I walked in to find only one woman sitting in prayer. I didn't know she was with Proverb 31 Ministries until after about ten minutes or so she quietly came over to me and sat in the seat next to me and asked if she could pray with me. As she prayed she shared with me what she felt the Lord was laying upon her heart for me, and I won't go into every detail but it was about a change in direction for my life. As we spoke further we both began to notice the similarities in our pasts and the direction we were headed spiritually. The both of us knew our meeting was not coinsidence but a devine appointment set by God.

That final evening Renee Swope gave a message about Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt. The message was all about living in the fullest of who God has created us to be, to not focus on the things we don't believe we are capable of but to move forward with faith in God, our Father who has our backs. After writing down all the things I felt might be holding me back like still believing in the lies told to me in my past about my worth, and failures and bad choices and so much more baggage I had seemed to be holding onto without really even realizing it, I let go! I laid that piece of paper at the foot of that cross. I allowed myself to fall into my Fathers arms and I let Him love me.

Lesson #1- I have learned to not receive what negative people say about me. My one and only true identity is in who God says I am. My past nor the people in my past have any power over me, nor do the people in my present who choose to label me or judge me without knowing me or my heart. In leadership you find yourself in this vulnerable place where you and the moves you make can be scrutinized by everyone around you. The focus has to remain on God- His words- His voice in our hearts and remaining true to His call and who He says we are and continuing on the path and toward the vision He gives.

SHE SPEAKS

Proverb 31 Ministries hosts the "She Speaks Conference" every year. This is an incredible opportunity for speakers, writers, and/or ministry leaders to share and learn new and fresh ways to express and lead others to the heart of God. Due to the generosity of Mr. Cecil Murphy, the ladies at Proverb 31 have been given the opportunity to offer several scholarships to this years conference. You too can try for one of these scholarships as I am doing with this post. You can find out more information through this link, http://www.shespeaksconference/ The challenge for one of the scholarships is to tell a story. Doesn't sound like too much of a challenge, right? Afterall, we all have some story to tell. Here's the catch- the story can only consist of 6 words! Thats right, SIX, words! This is my story- MAMA'S EYES, LOVING, GENTLE, ACHINGLY MISSED.

Blessings all,

Intimacy with God

I had often heard others speak of intimacy with God. But, it wasn't until this wintry day a couple of years ago that I was given a glimpse of the depth of this intimacy God wants with us. Things in my life were not going terrible but, it was a time when there seem to be several nagging things happening all at the same time and my thoughts were focused on the many, what seemed to be, unanswered prayers, I'd been praying for years. My prayers for healing, loved ones to return to serving the Lord, financial breakthroughs for families, broken marriages and wayward children seemed to be falling upon deaf ears. I knew in my mind this really wasn't true but I was discouraged. Some of these situations appeared to be doomed without the Lords intervention and my heart was heavy. Several months prior during a time of prayer this saying came to my mind, " hear me with your eyes"! I repeated this over and over and wrote it down in my journal. For months these same words repeatedly came into my prayer time, "hear me with your eyes". Then several weeks later, "hear me with your eyes, see me with your ears" ! My heart quickened as I sought out my journal once again to jot down this phrase or what maybe was a parable. Did Jesus still teach in parable's? What did these words mean? Ever since I was a little girl I have been fascinated by birds. I just love watching them and the fact that their existence depends totally on God's daily provision just is amazing to me. On this gloomy wintry day traveling through the long twisting drive that led to my mother's apartment, within the senior community, my daughter and I were engaged in conversation when out of the side of my eye I saw something red flash by us. I reached to turn the music down, as I slowed and swerved slightly to the right side of the road. I looked up into the bare tree branches, searching in the direction of this red flash of color. There it was! The biggest and reddest cardinal I think I've ever seen! Oh, he looked so magnificent against the dark black and grey bark of that barren looking tree! But wait, whats that? Oh, wow here comes another one, and she sits right next to him. For a female she looks almost as bold in color as he, but you can tell she is the girl. My eyes are glued and my heart is beating so hard and so fast and my spirit man knows my Lord has something to say! Just then from the same direction as the first comes yet another and another cardinal! Both take their place near the first two and before they even get settled two more come to join them. I'm also a amateur photographer, and my thoughts are racing between knowing this is a moment of significance to thinking how much I wished I'd brought my camera. Then out of nowhere I spot this bird of bright yellow with an orange beak picking his place on the branches of the tree right next to the cardinals! At this point I am praying, Oh Holy Spirit, give me understanding of what You are showing me, when more of these yellow birds come join the first. I sat in complete amazement gazing at this site, feeling incredibly blessed to have been driving through there at that moment to see it. Right then in my spirit I hear " this isn't by accident, this is for you". For me? What does that mean? I'm still gazing into the trees when I hear my daughter tell me to drive away, "an old man is trying to open my door"! Sure enough when I look back an elderly man who lived in the community must have thought I was pulled over for him and he was trying to get in our car. I politely waved to him and proceeded on our way. Throughout the rest of the day I thought about what I'd seen and prayed continually for the Lord to give me wisdom. It was several days later when I opened my journal right to the page with the phrase given to me in the months prior. I'd not even considered the two could be connected. But, as I read the phrase again the vision of all those birds came flooding back to my mind as if I was seeing it for the first time. The revelation of all of this didn't come to me in one full swoop, but little by little the Lord spoke into my heart, showing me what it was He was speaking to me. The first thing being just how personal our Father is- God could have used any number of things to speak to me but he chose something He knew would get my attention, something he knows I love to watch. The birds! I had been asking to hear His voice in response to all the many situations I'd been praying for when I first heard " hear me with your eyes". Here I was driving through a place that appeared lifeless and barren when within the wisp of a second God brought magnificent color. This was exactly how I was seeing these many situations I was praying for, lifeless and barren, without hope. God in His great desire for us to be intimate with Him showed me how deep he knows my heart, how deeply he knows me. He spoke to me through allowing my eyes to fall upon His wonder. Even in the middle of all that appeared to be barren and hopeless, just as the situations I had been praying for, my faithful Father brought gorgeous color, full of life! The Lord revealed that even though some of these situations looked as if they were dying, just as the ground below the winters cold, there lies life just waiting to reveal itself in the spring. We may not always see what the Lord is up to, but if we look around us, we can always see and hear His heart for us. Open your eyes today and hear God's voice and allow Him to show you just how deeply he loves you and wants for you to seek intimacy in our relationship with Him.

I hope and pray my story has inspired you to seek and serve the Lord. If you would like to dig deeper with more stories of inspiration, hop over to the Proverb 31 Ministries site where you will find links to many blogs full of encouragement for your faith to grow.

If you happen to be a writer, speaker or ministry leader "She Speaks" is the conference you don't want to miss.

What is the She Speaks Conference? The opportunity to surround yourself with the love, wisdom and experience of Godly women running after the heart of God who desire to share all they have learned thus far on their journey, to help others be the mothers and daughters to walk in the fullness of all God has for us.

Curious? Check it out- just maybe the Lord has a seat there with your name on it!

shespeaksconference.com

Maybe you can win a scholarship to attend- click the link below.

www.aholyexperience.com/2011/03/how-christians-create-art-she-speaks-scholarship/

May God Bless,

Brokeness Is Opportunity

Pastor has been teaching on the subject of Brokeness at our church, and last week taught on the book of Ruth. We learned about the bitterness that crept it's way into the heart of Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law, through the loss of her husband and her son's. Naomi finds herself in a foreign land and in her mind, she is all alone, with only her two daughter-in -laws. She chooses to return to her homeland and even though her daughter-in-law's intend to follow her, she has other plans. She is wanting to go on her own. I believe Naomi's concern for her daughter-in-law is sincere and she means the best for them and their futures. But, the fact that she is making this choice to make this journey alone sticks out to me. How many times in our brokeness and grief do we make that same choice? To go it all alone!
Loss of a loved one is so very hard. It can change who we are, how we react to others, it can change the very way we look at life and/or God! But the greatest mistake we can make is to try to go through it alone and not see the opportunity God gives us through this experience!
I have wrote of the passing of my mom last year, and I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that nothing can fill that void left by the absence of her physical presence in my life. Nothing! Except God!
A mother's love is a most unique love, I believe the closest to Godly, agape love, we will ever experience on this earth. When a loved one is no longer here it leaves a big gaping hole in your heart.
A place only our heavenly Father's love can fill.
I thought I was doing what was best for me after my mom died by just staying busy and keeping my mind off of her and the fact she wasn't ever going to be here again. I was choosing to go "alone" on my journey through grief, kind of like Naomi.
After a full year had past I found myself falling into a deep depression that confused me. Why was I grieving so bad now when she'd been gone a year already? I didn't understand God had been waiting for me to fall into His arms the whole time, wanting to comfort me and guide me through this journey. He was waiting for me to come to Him that He could reveal to me the opportunity He was giving me to learn more about His love. Only God knows the extent of our grieving, only God knows the size of that void left within our hearts and God is the only one who knows just how to fill that gaping hole, and bring us closer to Him all at the same time. It's hard to imagine anything good coming from something that hurts so much, but God not only show's us this in His word in the book of Ruth, it's also shown in the book of Job. Loss is hard, one of the hardest things I think we have to deal with in this life but God can and will bring good from every loss if we let Him. No, our loved one won't miraculously reappear, but one day we will be with them again. And, until that day comes we can learn more about our Father's love by asking Him to walk with us. Asking Him to show us how to love more like Him and to bring us into opportunities to show that love to others.

He promises to always be there, to never leave us nor forsake us ,just as Naomi finally realized, we have to let Him in and choose to walk with Him and let Him show us the way. God brought restoration to Naomi's life. First, with Ruth's refusal to part from her, then by restoring her heart, by showing her His love. God still heard Naomi's voice, even through her pain and her bitterness.

I am so thankful the Lord loves me so much, He wouldn't leave me to myself.
I pray you experience the revelation of Gods love for you today- it will change your life forever- and you will never be the same!

The Mother Daughter Relationship

I don't know how many times in the past several years I have listened to well meaning youth leaders talk about "letting go" of our kids once they become teenagers. They claim more time with their peers and young adults is what they really need at this point in their lives. One thing I've noticed is that the majority of the youth leaders suggesting this way of parenting have yet to parent through the teenage years themselves, and yes, maybe they know kids, but where did this gained knowledge or wisdom on parenting they are claiming come from?
One would hope their guidance and teaching would come from the Bible. But becoming more distant in your teens life is not what the Bible teaches. I am the mom of five great kids. Four of those kids are now aspiring adults who now manage their own daily lives and choices, the fifth child is just beginning to maneuver through the final stages of those teenage years into adulthood. Now, I've learned a lot of things through the years of raising those first four, yet I will never claim to know all there is to know about the right and the wrong ways of parenting. But, this stands out to me; you cannot have a close relationship with someone who is not there, you cannot speak wisdom to someone who is not there to hear you, you cannot guide someone if they cannot see you leading and God has called every parent to be and do every one of these. Do I believe the teenage years are a time to make sure they have opportunities to put into practice those things you hope you have instilled in them thus far? Most certainly! A child needs those opportunities. But, God's word teaches us that "we", the parents are to be their greatest influence, all the way through to adulthood. It doesn't teach us that we are to be this main influence only unto adolescence and then toss that responsibility to their peers, teachers, or even youth leaders. It is our responsibility as parents to see them through this journey into adulthood. There is a great article on this topic of influence at http://www.crosswalk.com/family/home_school/1363344.html named "The Primary Influence In a Girl's Life". Although the article is speaking specifically about the mother/daughter relationship I really think it applies to boys as well. I hope you'll enjoy it. Proverbs 22:6 " Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." NAS

The Symptoms of Grief

Psalm 94:19 "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul."

Everyone grieves the loss of a loved one or friend differently. Some hold all their emotion inside and choose to not let it out at all, others may keep their chin up within public view and then let it all out in the quiet or while praying, and there are some who are consumed with the feeling of loss for some time and yet others who for whatever reason, seem to handle the death of a loved one with such calm that one might claim they are void of emotion.

Since my mama went to be with the Lord last year I think I've gone through each one of these different ways of grieving. Much to my surprise has been the effect upon me as the first year anniversary of her passing has come. It's been harder than I thought it would be. I have missed her every day, and some days the pain has been so intense.

Grieving, I am finding is an unpredictable emotion that can seem to be totally absent one moment and all consuming in the next, with no announcement of it's coming symptoms.

But, Jesus is faithful to His word that he would never leave us, and He brings consolation to the anxious and the grieving heart and the one thing that brings me comfort is picturing my mama sitting with Jesus with a smile on her face, knowing one day we will both be sitting there with Him, smiling!

The Creation Museum was incredible!

The heart and work that went into the building of this just blows me away. The details, and the animation of the replicas and the way they seem to be looking right at you!!

We had a great time and really enjoyed the petting zoo where we got to see and feed a real zonkey!!
Blessings,

The Very Breath We Breathe

How often throughout our day are we aware of breathing? Of course we know were breathing, but how aware are we of doing so? You know the actual process........breathe in.......now exhale ......breathe in....... now let it out. Brings to mind a doctors visit, doesn't it? When you fear hyperventilating because the doctor is moving that stethescope just a bit too quickly for you to catch up! Or after we've been running or exerting ourselves we become aware of our breathing, but mostly because at that point it becomes difficult to catch our breathe. Another is at the end of life when your time left on this earth has become short and the number of breathes we take in a single minute are counted to determine when that time may come. But, normally on an average day we don't pay much attention to breathing, although it is the most important function vital to life. Without breathing our hearts fail to beat, and blood no longer flows through our veins.
Jesus is so much like the very breathe we breath. He is vital to life, yet for so many we go throughout our days being unaware of just how vital our need is for Him, until life becomes difficult, then we come as if gasping for air.
The days we are upon aren't making it difficult to find ourselves in times which can be like taking the very wind from our sails, so to speak. The pink slip at the end of the work day, late notices in the mail, children failing at school or even worse and into drugs and alcohol, ailing health. The list could go on and on, my point being, we don't have to look too far to find troubles in this life, Jesus told us in John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
How much different would our days be if everyday, every hour, every minute we were aware of our need for Jesus to make it to the next day, hour or minute? I believe God created breathing, the most vital function for our physical life, to be on autopilot, because, otherwise we would have to constantly be aware of our breathing, lest we die physically. Our spiritual well being isn't on autopilot though, we have to be deliberate in seeking Him. We have to be aware that our need for Jesus is like our very breathe. Without Him we face imminent death.
The following is from my devotional reading today and what stirred this thought within me about our breathing.
"Jesus" The very sounding of My Name, in Love and tenderness, drives away all evil. It is the word before which all hosts of evil flee.
"Jesus". My Name is the call for a lifeline to rescue you from temptation.
"Jesus". The Name banishes lonliness and dispels gloom.
"Jesus". Summons help to conquer your faults.
I will set you on high because you have known My Name. Yes! My Name-Jesus." Use it tenderly. Use it prayerfully. Use it powerfully.

It is my prayer that as we go through this day we will all be more aware of our need for Jesus in everything we do, as if He were the very breathe we breath. Inhaling more of Him and exhaling our cares and troubles of the day.

"As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God." Psalm 42:1

O' Lord I so need You, without You Jesus my life would be no more, like my body without air, I would fail to function. I thank You Lord that You are always with me, help me to let You in deeper still, help me to release every burden into Your care, that I may focus on You.

Love You Jesus,

Amen.

Joy in the Midst of Despair

Much has happened in my life since I last wrote something here on this blog. With all the good intentions in my heart to keep posting regular, life sometimes just gets ahold and time goes much faster than we'd like.
I am learning just how fleeting life is and sometimes opportunities can pass us by never to return again. Also that just as God's word tells us, "In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world".
In the early part of April I learned that my mother has terminal cancer. Since that time it seems I have experienced a gambit of emotions, from shock, despair, anger, hurt, confusion, frustration and helplessness.
On one recent occasion my mom had called me sounding so distraught and helpless and in need of some help. I got into my car hearing the sound of her desperate voice still ringing in my ear as I slid a worship CD in to listen to while enroute to her home. I began to sing along and just worship the Lord when I was surrounded by an overwhelming presence. This was a presence of joy so full and so complete it is indescribable. For a second or two I felt a bit guilty for feeling so full of this joy when my mother was feeling so down and desperate. Just as quick as that thought had entered my mind I sensed the Lord telling me "no", "don't give into that thought, this is My gift to you, receive it, walk in it, even in times of trouble, it is yours always". I was overwhelmed to tears at Fathers love for me.
I have always heard the teachings about joy, and joy in times of trouble. I've experienced joyful times, in times of trouble, but not really truely being full of joy in troubling times. This joy is still so full in my heart and I know the Lord is in control. Even if I am helpless, He isn't and no matter what life has in store, my joy comes from knowing Him. My joy comes from realizing where he has brought me from, my joy is knowing someday I will be with Him for all eternity. And until that time, He is with me, therefore I can rejoice, even in the face of troubling times.
Blessings

All In The Life of Bees

29) Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; 30) and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to everything that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food"; and it was so. 31) God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. Genesis 1:29-31

This morning as I was praying I was thanking God for all these things we seem to have grown so accustomed to, flowers in the spring with their beautiful scents, the greeness of the grass and the trees. The variety of birds and the role they play in our intricate ecosystem. The thought of bees came to me and the role they have in our survival. I don't think we give much thought of that when we think about those bees. Most times we think about how pesky they are or how we run from them. I was thinking about how the bees pollinate our plants. How they go from one to another taking from one and giving to another, almost just by the landing on another plant, cross pollination happens.
God was so perfect in His plan. We as christians so many times find ourselves confused and we say we just don't hear God speak.
If we would just take the time to look around us at His creation, he even gives us examples on how to live by the life of a bee! Some may be thinking I have finally gone off the deep end here, but I don't think so, i think I'm hearing and seeing quite clearly in this.
A bee spends its whole day wondering and collectiong for the providing for those in the nest, these are "the workers", or servants if you will. They go from one plant to another all day long, touching(planting seed-pollinating) one, then touching another, and in doing so providing what the plant needs to produce fruit (food) or a beautiful bloom, still referred to as fruit.
In our lives in order to produce "fruit", we need each other. All alone we produce nothing!
It is only by the power of our Heavenly Creator we can be the conduit to produce anything in this life. We need not only to be touched by others hearts we need to touch others with our hearts.
We are in such a time in our world that our mere survival depends on God and each other.
We need to be focusing more on God and His heart and being faithful to bring gladness to His heart by being more selfless, allowing those petty things in our lives be tossed aside, they have no eternal significance anyway. What are the things in our lives that do have eternal significance?
Today my prayer for all of us is first, we would all grow closer to knowing the heart of our Father, and our goal would be to bring gladness into That Heart, by touching (planting seed) into the life of another.
It may mean just a simple phone call to ask someone how they are doing, or doing a kind deed for a neighbor. No matter how big or small the task, it's the heart that matters.

Would you go and touch a heart today? Then allow God to bring the fruit from your effort.

And open your eyes today and you too can hear the voice of God!
He is our awesome God !
Thank You Abba, I am Yours!