Sunday, January 20, 2008

If God Leads He will Provide

Why do we say we believe, yet walk in doubt? Someone recently spoke to me about stepping out into a different field, but that they didn't have it all quite figured out how they were going to manage. I asked if they felt this was a God inspired change or something they just wanted to do? They said they felt it was God leading them in this new direction, but that they couldn't make that step until they knew how other things were going to fall into place. I was able to share with them this testimony of Gods provision in my own life.
I had worked in the dental field in one capacity or another for over 16 years when I gave birth to our youngest daughter, Libby. It was initially not our plan for me to continue to work once I became pregnant, but after trying to conceive for over two years with no success, we bought a house that required me to work to keep up the payments. Then lo and behold I found out two weeks to the day after closing on our house that I was pregnant! Even while I was pregnant I sensed God was directing me to quit my job. But, because I couldn't see how that was possible I continued working. When Libby was almost two I found out I was going to be losing my babysitter and I just couldn't see anyone but , Sandi, watching our daughter. I decided I would now leave my job and give in to this urging inside of me. But, I couldn't leave it there, I began to take classes to be certified as a Travel Agent and began my own business out of our home. As if that wern't enough, I also did day care for the other displaced children left over from "Sandi's" house! My business took off like a rocket and before I knew it I was working well into the night time hours some days. My back issues were then becoming a major distraction and I had to give up both the day care and my travel business. Even still I wasn't being obedient to that call inside of me to just let it go. It was so hard for me, I had not been without some sort of pay check since I had been fifteen years old and I couldn't imagine us making it without me bringing one home now. I then found a job with a local Interior Decorating Firm, a job that I loved doing. In less than a year my back issue became so much worse, I was to undergo an experimental theapy to see if they could slow the rate of the progression, which meant I had to quit my job. As much as I loved that job and hated to leave, I remember being overwhelmed by a sense of "freedom" when I walked out of the studio that last day. I had the treatment done and was in a brace for six weeks and didn't give it too much thought throughout that time. Then one evening I sat down and figured out what we had in bills and what we had to pay them with and on paper, it just didn't add up, we were in the red!
Yet, our bills were paid. One month went by, then two months went by and every month it was the same, on paper we should not have had enough money to pay our bills, but every month they were paid. I still to this day cannot tell you where those extra dollars came from, all I know is that they were paid. Throughout this time a connection with God like I had never known was taking place and I had such a sense of peace, words cannot describe it.
God had been speaking, but I didn't want to listen. Then when I did listen, I still felt it had to be on my terms. But once I was completely obedient, even if by force, God showed His faithfulness to me. I learned that when we have to do things our own way, we could miss out on witnessing God's power in our lives. I also learned that when God leads us to anything within or outside our area of comfort, He will not abandon us or leave us "orphaned", He will provide. He is always faithful to sustain us wherever He leads.
We won't always understand why somethings happen the way they do, but, if we know in our hearts, we are never alone no matter where God leads us and He will always sustain us.
Isiah 55:11
"So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void.
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it".


Anonymous said...

Thanks for that message it is si graet....